God instituted marriage between a man and a woman. He planned a process of development to mature the union.
In Genesis 2:24, we read, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh.”
Three verbs in this verse indicate the three purposes of marriage. They are leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh. Leaving involves a departure from parental dependence and implies a dependence on the union of the marriage. Cleaving is the clinging together of the couple, like two pieces of paper glued together.
Becoming one flesh means the sharing of all things. Not just physical, but their thinking and their feelings, their joy and their sufferings, their hopes and their fears, their successes and their failures. This is the biblical standard outlined for a lasting marriage. However, this is not easily acquired.
There are challenges to overcome. Problems arise to deviate the process. Faulty communications, religion, attitudes, roles, and money are a few of the hurdles that confront the couple in their endeavor to complete the marriage. We will deal with the first one, which is miscommunication. Miscommunication within a marriage occurs when the message sent is not the message received.
For instance, there are different ways people express the three words, “I love you.” If a husband says, “I love you” by buying presents, but the wife wants to hear it said, then there is miscommunication. Messages are sent verbally and nonverbally. Verbally is with words. Nonverbally is with gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, and the list goes on.
When verbal and nonverbal contradict, there is a “double message” which leads to miscommunication. For example, the wife says verbally to the husband, “I don’t mind you going on this business trip,” but with a resigned tone of voice and lack of enthusiasm. She is really saying, “I don’t really want you to go.”
When the message sent verbally is consistent with the message sent nonverbally, the message sent is message received. Even in spiritual communications, the Bible warns of a believer and unbeliever united in marriage.
II Corinthians 6:14 reads, “ Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness?”
Tensions develop over differences of degrees of interest and commitment.
Te preferences of denominational doctrine and practices can as well create miscommunications in a relationship.